Episode 227: Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care - Patricia Young

Jen and I discuss attachment wounds and using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. We talk about the difference of speaking for our parts vs. speaking from our parts. We talk about overperformance, the pressure to show up and masking, and the importance of feeling seen and heard in relationships. We talk about unpacking an autism diagnosis and reviewing life through the lens of autism. We also emphasize embracing imperfection and practicing self-care and self-compassion.

CO-HOST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their current states and challenges, including the impact of attachment injuries and autism. They explore the importance of reframing and unpacking an autism diagnoses. They also discuss the significance of embracing imperfection and practicing self-compassion. The conversation delves into the difference between speaking for parts and speaking from parts, as well as the challenges of feeling seen and heard in relationships. They also touch on the role of technology in communication and the connection between self-worth and expressing love. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the pressure to show up and overperform, particularly in relation to masking and societal expectations. They explore the idea of letting go of perfection in expressing self-worth and the impact it has on relationships. They also delve into managing expectations and self-pressure, recognizing that others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves. Finally, they touch on the importance of embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them.

Takeaways

The pressure to show up and overperform can be overwhelming, especially for individuals who feel the need to mask their true selves.

Letting go of the idea of perfection in expressing self-worth can lead to greater ease and authenticity in relationships.

Managing expectations and self-pressure is crucial for maintaining mental well-being, as others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves.

Embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them allows for a more integrated and balanced sense of self.

Summary

Navigating life with autism and managing attachment injuries.
The impact of autism on daily routines and family dynamics.
Understanding the challenges of having food, routines, and independence,
Embracing imperfection and letting go of perfectionism,
Recognizing the need for gentleness and self-compassion, especially with the inner critic.
Exploring the concept of “autistic burnout” and its impact on daily life and mental health.
Reflecting on the journey of self-discovery and acceptance after receiving an autism diagnosis.
Embracing the process of reframing past experiences through the lens of autism.
Navigating the complexities of showing love and care.
Understanding the diverse ways individuals express love and support within the neurodivergent community.
Addressing the challenges of communication and maintaining connections
Exploring the impact of ADHD and neurodivergence on memory, attention, and maintaining social patterns.
Recognizing the importance of open communication and managing expectations in relationships.
Embracing vulnerability and acknowledging the impact of attachment wounds in personal interactions.
Insights into the journey of self-discovery, self-care, and personal growth as a neurodivergent person

Chapters (will need to be adjusted with the addition of the introduction)

00:00 Introduction and Current State

01:07 Exploring Attachment Injuries and Autism

04:04 Accepting the Autism Diagnosis

09:26 Leaning into Challenges and Reframing

12:26 Navigating Self-Criticism and Self-Judgment

15:19 Embracing Imperfection and Self-Compassion

19:01 Speaking for Parts vs. Speaking from Parts

23:28 Being Fully Present in Life

28:02 Feeling Seen and Heard in Relationships

30:03 Navigating Technology and Communication

34:26 Self-Worth and Expressing Love

36:15 Hustling for Self-Worth and Activation

37:02 The Pressure to Show Up and Overperform

38:06 Letting Go of Perfection in Expressing Self-Worth

39:11 Managing Expectations and Self-Pressure

39:27 Embracing Different Parts of Ourselves

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

CO-HOST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

CO-HOST

HIGHLIGHTS

PODCAST HOST

CO-HOST BIO

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