Episode 225: Navigating Autism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) - Patricia Young

I discuss being diagnosed Autistic with a PDA (pathological demand avoidance) profile. I express frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as I don’t see myself in the criteria. I highlight the common misdiagnosis of PDA as oppositional defiant disorder in children, emphasizing the need for a deeper understanding of neurodivergent experiences. I advocate a shift from viewing differences as deficits, and the importance of recognizing the unique perspectives of neurodivergent individuals.

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Summary

In this episode, Patricia shares her personal reflections on being diagnosed autistic and the challenges she faces with Pathological Demand Avoidance, (PDA). Patricia prefers Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy instead. She discusses the differences between autism and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of autism. Patricia also explores how PDA affects parenting and the need for low-demand environments. She reflects on her struggles with holiday traditions and the importance of self-acceptance and embracing stimming. Additionally, Patricia discusses the impact of seasonal changes and offers insights into managing PDA in daily life. She concludes with a book she enjoyed reading that has coded autistic characters in it.

Some of the challenges and awarenesses about being autistic and having a PDA profile:

Patricia shares her frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as she does not see herself in the criteria. It was written for white boys who externalize their symptoms. Many late-diagnosed, high-masking folks tend to internalize their presentation, and they go undiagnosed and don’t see themselves in the criteria, which needs to be updated.
Patricia emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of neurodivergent individuals and the need to look at differences rather than deficits.
She expresses her passion for wanting researchers and experts in the field of ADHD, autism, and HSP to work collaboratively to find commonalities.
Patricia talks about the challenges of being formally diagnosed with autism and how it has led to a year of “Ahas.”
She shares insights into how PDA shows up in her life, including anticipating things that could go wrong and giving people permission to not respond.

Takeaways

Understanding the lived experience of autism is crucial for creating a supportive environment.

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) also known as Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy, can be misdiagnosed as oppositional defiant disorder and is characterized by nervous system dysregulation.

Parents with PDA may face challenges in parenting neurodivergent children and may benefit from creating low-demand environments.

Embracing self-acceptance and allowing oneself to stim can lead to a greater sense of joy and freedom.

Seasonal changes can impact mood and energy levels, and it’s important to listen to one’s body and practice self-care.

Anticipating demands and setting boundaries can help manage PDA and reduce stress.

The book ‘Lessons in Chemistry’ features characters who are coded as autistic and explores themes of feminism and neurodiversity.

Chapters (please adjust times with the addition of the introduction)

00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections

01:58 Understanding PDA and Autism

06:49 Challenges of Parenting with PDA

08:18 Navigating Holiday Traditions

16:08 Embracing Stimming and Self-Acceptance

17:32 Coping with Winter and Seasonal Changes

24:05 Managing PDA in Daily Life

27:31 Anticipating and Resisting Demands

28:52 Book Recommendation: Lessons in Chemistry

30:17 Closing Remarks and Invitation

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD (autistic and ADHD), with a PDA profile, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

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