Episode #68: Being Real and Normalizing Our Human Experience - Patricia Young

TITLE

Being Real and Normalizing Our Human Experience

GUEST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

EPISODE OVERVIEW

What if we believed that we don’t always have to have our stuff together? The more real we can be, the more it allows others to be real. We need to normalize suffering, so we don’t think something is wrong when we are not constantly feeling exuberant. We can accept that wounding happens. Misunderstandings and miscommunications are part of the human experience. How do we embrace our feelings and not be wrong?

HIGHLIGHTS

I want to break the shame and normalize having deep feelings
I want to change the narrative around what may be labeled as unacceptable feelings
We as therapists, often have shame that we have human experiences because we’re supposed to be “past” that
Human life is a struggle
If we’re wobbling, we freak out
The more real we can be as therapists and healers, the more it benefits our clients
We want to be mindful and intentional about self-disclosure in that it benefits the clients, and it’s not to meet our own needs
We can do reality checks with clients if we self-disclose to see if it’s helpful
How do we embrace our feelings and not be wrong?
We need to accept that wounding happens
We need to normalize suffering
We want to ameliorate the suffering and know that wounding happens
Sometimes we can over identify with the wound or live from the wound
Misunderstanding and miscommunications are part of the human experience
Good enough parenting—we just need to show up 30% of the time
The Goddess of Never Not Broken
- She knows that she recreates herself every day
- She doesn’t have this expectation that she has it all together
We don’t want to live our lives as nouns—in a constant state
We want to live our lives as verbs, which is constantly changing
We will bound back between the 2 states and accept the wounding
PARTS Work or Internal Family Systems with Richard Schwartz
- We have a relationship with that part of you
- A part can despair
- We want to be self-led—which is soul, substance, clear and calm, compassionate
- When we get triggered or activated, a part takes over
- A part of the person is buying into that narrative of wounding
- How do you feel about the part?
- I feel bad for this part
- We can act from that part
  - Being in it
- We can speak for that part
  - A part of me feels…a part of me wants to …
Healing comes from being in relationship with others who are doing their work
There is power in being seen and heard and having someone who can hold space for us
We often don’t know what’s possible if we haven’t experienced healthy relationships, so we recreate relationships that don’t work because we’re trying to work out something from the past

GUEST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and Coach. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, truthteller and black sheep. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other HSPs know that they aren’t alone, and that being an HSP has amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors us