Expectations & Disappointments & Creating a Vision for 2020
We all experience expectations and disappointments, and it’s more present at this time of year. Do I regret talking about relationship issues? When do we talk about issues with others, and when do we need to work it out on our own? It’s ok to have wants and needs, but sometimes we need to show up for ourselves. I talk about a new awareness that frustrates me! With the New Year approaching, what do you want to create more of, and what do you want less of? I suggest a daily practice to help us honor ourselves.
- Expectations and disappointments
- This time of year creates more of this
- This can also show up in relationships
- Can we allow people to show up exactly as they are
- Do I regret talking about some of the challenges I’ve had this past year with my relationships
- When do we name what’s going on, and when do we either leave it, or process with someone else
- As we grow and change, how we handle relationships may change
- I talk about how I feel about recording or saying certain things in the episode where I wasn’t invited, and I felt hurt
- I tend to pick friends who are very opposite of me in some ways, but it can create some challenges
- What do we do when we want someone to do something for us, but we don’t want to ask for it because it doesn’t count
- Ways to evaluate stuck places in relationships
- What to do when we’re not feeling seen and heard in a relationship
- When is it my responsibility to step and really be present for myself
- We often choose people in our lives in an attempt to work out some of the things we missed from our parents
- We want nurturing and healing from other relationships—there’s nothing wrong with this
- How we can evaluate if looking for this outside validation is working or not
- We’re supposed to be connected to others; it’s ok to have wants—this can be very healthy
- How we can honor pain and see what’s on the other side
- What happens when the wound of not enough comes up
- Many of us have a fear of getting in touch with our needs will bring up rage around not getting it when we were younger
- How do we show up for ourselves?
- In order to heal, we need to learn to be here for ourselves
- We can still get it from others—it’s not an “either or”
- How we can understand some of the dynamics in our relationships
- Being alive means we’re going to experience discomfort—we can manage
- When we realize that we’re expecting someone else to make us feel whole and complete, it’s not uncommon for us to then feel anger, grief, disappointment
- We can still stay in relationships and focus on the parts that work, and know that there are limitations
- We may notice things in relationships that the other person doesn’t see
- Sometimes we need to say something, and sometimes we just get to notice that it’s there
- How are we showing up in relationships?
- What are we expecting from others?
- Is it giving us peace?
- Are our attachment or abandonment issues coming up?
- Are we getting hung up?
- How we honor others in relationships even when we think “we know best” for the other person
- You can use radical self-compassion and mindfulness to notice what’s going on and where we get stuck
- We want to be our best selves
- When you have good support, we can learn to work through these things
- We can recognize patterns that are going on without acting from that place of wounding
- What are you needing to take care of yourself?
- You can listen to a favorite song
- Take a bath
- Take a walk
- Spend time with a child
- Take time alone
- Spend time with an animal
- Have a cup of tea or hot chocolate
- Curl up with a cozy blanket
- Watch a movie or show
- Light a candle
- Go into the bathroom for alone time
- Using box breathing—breathe in for a count of 4; hold for 4, exhale for 4 and hold for 4. Repeat at least 8 times
- If everything sucks, then notice what sucks
- Sometimes things suck and that’s just how it is
- At the end of the year, I write about what’s happened professionally, personally, friendships, spirituality, health
- My goal this next year is to look at myself through my own lens
- I want to own my perspective and not minimize
- I want to live a bolder brighter life and to be less apologetic
- I imagine how other people are responding to me instead of owning my perspective. This hurts me
- I want to see my life and my responses from my perspective
- What are you working on?
- What do you want more of in the New Year?
- What do you want less of in the New Year?
- What’s working
- What’s not working
- Think of 3 things you’ve done daily to take care of yourself
- Focus on the process, not the outcome or the feelings
Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).
Online HSP Course–https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/
Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive– https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/
Music– Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com