Episode #20: Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), and the HSP - Patricia Young

EPISODE

Episode 20

TITLE

Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), and the HSP

GUEST

Dr. Erika Martinez

EPISODE OVERVIEW

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect and how does it affect non-HSPs and HSPs? These are some symptoms of CEN– feelings of emptiness (a void), feeling deeply and fatally flawed; don’t feel good enough; feeling unlovable/unlikable; seeking external validation to know you’re ok; being very self-sufficient; may have been parentified, may struggle with being assertive, being angry, experience self-blame; have a hard time asking for help; may have trust issues, may be anxious, depressed or stressed out. Dr. Martinez talks about how to identify CEN and ways to begin the healing process.

HIGHLIGHTS

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)?
- A Lack of parental attunement to the child’s emotional needs, and a lack of responsiveness to their emotional needs
- CEN is such an invisible thing—it’s what failed to happen for you

Symptoms of CEN—feelings of emptiness (a void), feeling deeply and fatally flawed; don’t feel good enough; feeling unlovable/unlikable; seeking external validation to know you’re ok; being very self-sufficient; may have been parentified, may struggle with being assertive, being angry, experience self-blame; have a hard time asking for help; may have trust issues, may be anxious, depressed or stressed out

The HSP in a household with CEN is often the scapegoat and they are ridiculed for their deep processing of emotion. They can feel very wrong, and like they don’t fit in. Sometimes they are referred to as the blacksheep of the family. They are the “disrupter.” Often this person is the healthiest and most differentiated in the family and they are often the “truth teller.”

3 types of groups parents fall into

Self-involved, narcissistic, sociopath, addicted, authoritarian
Struggling parents—depressed, bereaved, divorced, special needs children or caring for relatives or aging parents
Well-meaning—neglected as children, workaholics, achievement oriented, perfectionistic, permissive, tiger parents

Counterdependence—difficulty asking for help

BIO

Erika Martinez, Psy.D., a Florida licensed psychologist and certified educator, specializes in the assessment and treatment of a variety of mental health conditions in young adults. Combing her expertise in neuropsychology, assessment, trauma, and shame resilience, she helps others explore life’s challenging areas and brainstorm solutions using their personal strengths. With greater self-awareness and confidence, they are able to move forward and lead personally and professionally rewarding lives.

Dr. Martinez provides therapy to high-achievers, professional millennials, and entrepreneurs facing quarter-life crises, relationship meltdowns, and existential dilemmas which can present as a myriad of symptoms including anxiety, destructive behaviors, self-sabotage, depression, loneliness, burn out, poor self-esteem, shame, and impaired social skills. She previously worked in graphic design, human resources, and community mental health. Prior to private practice, she worked in secondary and university public education settings for a decade helping parents, educators, and counselors better understand and serve students with AD/HD, Giftedness, and learning disabilities. Dr. Martinez is also a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator (CDWF), bringing the groundbreaking research and curriculum on vulnerability, courage, shame, and worthiness developed by Dr. Brené Brown to South Florida.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice. Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts they have to offer. Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.