Perfectionism, Imposter Syndrome, Expectations and Disappointments
As Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), it’s not uncommon for us to judge when we are having big feels, or the feels last longer than we want them to. The feelings aren’t what causes us to suffer; it’s our reactions and judgment about our feelings. How do we learn to create space for big feels, disappointments, and how do we learn to really honor and appreciate the AMAZING gifts we have as HSPs?
• We are sold by society that things are “broken” and therefore there are “cure” and “fixes”
• When we have feelings that we don’t like, or they last longer than we want, we believe something is wrong with us
• We aren’t broken and we don’t need to be fixed
• As Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), we ARE going to have big feels, and sometimes the feelings DO last longer than we want them to
• HSPs tend to function at very high levels in certain areas—we notice details, and remember things; we’re thorough and very conscientious
• We tend to think that everyone else is like we are, and we get frustrated and disappointed when other’s don’t show up at the level that we do
• Many HSPs in my practice tell me that they struggle with perfectionism. HSPs tend to be thorough and want to get things “right”
• We get to practice Done is better than perfect
• In the HSP Online Group, Jen Fusco Perry and I are co-facilitating, we each talked about some of our struggles after our check in—a group member shared how validating it was and how much they appreciated our willingness to be vulnerable and authentic
• When everyone pretends that they are living a life that is fine without struggle, it hurts everyone
• Sometimes we feel anxious or depressed—this is part of being a human being and having a human experience
• Whatever we are feeling is ok
• Wounding from the past can interfere with present day relationship
• How to ground in the present when wounding is coming up
• It takes tremendous strength and courage to allow ourselves to feel deeply
• It’s the skill of Emotional Intelligence to feel our feelings and identify what we are feeling—this IS healthy
• Being vulnerable takes tremendous courage—it’s a strength
• HSPs can be incredibly tenacious and focused—it’s how we perceive our traits and how we talk about them
• I thought I was doing therapy wrong, and it turns out my perceived weakness is my superpower as a coach when I work with HSPs
• What are your perceived weaknesses?
• What are the corresponding superpowers?
Patricia Young is a Life Coach in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPS providing coaching. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; while you travel; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs.
Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive– https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/
Music– Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com