Episode 273: The Holidays: A Group Project My Nervous System Didn’t Agree To - Patricia Young

In this New Year’s episode, Patricia Young (she/her) explores why the holiday season can be especially challenging for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD nervous systems. Through personal stories about gift giving, overstimulation, masking, PDA, rejection sensitivity, and the need for sameness and predictability, she unpacks how small changes and social expectations can quietly dysregulate neurodivergent people. The episode also includes updates on her purple hair and tattoo, reflections on attunement and fairness, and a gentle alternative to New Year’s resolutions—offering practical categories for reflection that center self-compassion, regulation, and realistic support.

WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE

Why holidays are uniquely overstimulating for neurodivergent nervous systems
How transitions, visitors, and disrupted routines impact regulation
The role of predictability, sameness, and visual memory in autistic well-being
Why gift giving can activate PDA, executive dysfunction, and shame
How attunement in gift giving can feel deeply regulating—and deeply stressful
The pressure to perform gratitude and enthusiasm while masking discomfort
Why opening gifts in front of others can be overwhelming for autistic adults
How fairness, justice sensitivity, and reciprocity complicate holiday dynamics
The emotional labor involved in “doing it right” socially
How body doubling supports assertiveness and nervous system regulation
Why small environmental changes can create disproportionate stress
The difference between order as regulation versus control
How animals, sensory joy, and flexibility can increase tolerance for chaos
Reflections on regret, learning, and doing things differently over time
Why curiosity and problem-solving are often misunderstood in autistic communication
How rejection sensitivity and object permanence affect relationships
A compassionate alternative to New Year’s resolutions
Reflective life categories including health, finances, relationships, self-care, creativity, home, and novelty
Why survival mode is sometimes the only valid goal
A reminder that sensitivity is wiring—not a flaw

SOUND BITES

“Our nervous systems really do best with sameness, repetition, and predictability.”
“Masking is all about making other people feel comfortable—and that’s a lot of work.”
“Regret doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means you’re learning.”
“You have a right to be regulated, dysregulated, organized, disorganized, content, or discontent.”

SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT’S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED

You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren’t built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.

CHAPTERS (PLEASE ALLOW FOR ADDITION OF INTRO)

00:00 Navigating Holiday Challenges
10:06 The Complexity of Gift Giving
20:39 Reflections on Relationships and Expectations
29:26 Looking Ahead: New Year Reflections

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

Patricia’s website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE

SOUND BITES

SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT’S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED

CHAPTERS (PLEASE ALLOW FOR ADDITION OF INTRO)

PODCAST HOST

LINKS